Pirate Programmer Pickup Line

What did the Pirate Programmer say to his code girl?

{
You had me at public static void main(String[] arrrrrrrrrrgs){

Mysql

Today I posted the following on a friend's Facebook status:

Mysql can out query Yoursql.

I can hear the groans. :-/

Binary Nerdism!!!!

This is the what happens when you let kids run a muck amongst binary code conversion sites.

HP Online Help

So a couple of years ago the IT guy at my job and I decided that we wanted to mess around with the HP Online Help. We played dumb with the whole can you remotely upgrade my computer and what do I do with the old ram. We had a good laugh that day.

For your viewing pleasure, I bring you HP Online Help

Aj/: I have a question
Syd: Welcome to HP Total Care for Pavilion Notebooks. My name is Syd. How may I assist you today?
Syd: Sure,please go ahead.
Aj/: how much memory service tag dv6205us should have
Aj/: can you check that for me
Syd: Could you please elaborate the issue?
Aj/: I bought the dv6000 with vista and it runs slower than a dead turtle trying to cross the road, is this normal, how much memory should it have come with?????
Syd: Thank you for the details.
Syd: Let me help you in this regard.
Aj/: when i bought my laptop, I thought it was 1 gig, when I check it's only 512, can you check the service tag, dv6205us
Syd: Sure.
Syd: Could you please give me few minutes while I pull up the information?
Aj/: yes
Syd: Thank you.
Syd: Thank you for your time and patience.
Syd: Aj/, I have checked the details for you.
Syd: The notebook is shipped with 512MB RAM.
Aj/: thank you
Syd: You can upgrade
Syd: the RAM to a maximum of 2GB.
Aj/: how do I do that ?
Syd: Let me help you with this.
Aj/: can you do it remotly ?
Syd: Aj/,the RAm are modules that are located inside the notebook and have to removed and erseated manually.
Syd: *reseated.
Aj/: can I buy a 1.5 MG RAM ?
Syd: Yes you can buy two 1 GB RAM slots and install it in the notebook
Syd: so that the notebook will have 2 GB RAM.
Aj/: what do I do with the 512 that I currently have
Syd: You can use it as a spare when any of the module fails.
Aj/: how often do they fail ?
Syd: HP recommends to use the RAM modules from HP as they are specifically made for HP notebooks and are tested and made available.
Aj/: do you have a weblink
Syd: If you are interested in buying it, I can arrange a call for you.
Syd: A 1 GB RAM module will cost $179.
Aj/: I am not ready to purchase yet, just thought I would see if you had a link I could reference when I have more time.
Syd: Sure.
Syd: Here is the link for the site.
Syd: http://www.shopping.hp.com/webapp/shopping/search/search_request.do;HHOJSID=Wn7LG5Gp0G2hry2NjpL6DPLhX5mGVZvMbCdjQvkMXpSKXGTPBBHR!736455932?InkToner_Search_Query=&Printer_Search_Query=&Cartridge_Search_Query=&printerOrCartridgeSearch=&Search_Query=EE687A&searchSelect=0
Syd: Aj/, I would also like to provide you another option in this regard.
Syd: Vista has a new feature which uses a a flah drive as a RAM.So you can use as big as 4 GB drive as a RAM.
Syd: This will be more economical than purchasing the memory modules.
Aj/: Thank You for your assistance
Syd: You are welcome.
Syd: I would lalso
Syd: like to provide you the link
Syd: which will help you increase the systems performance
Syd: Iam also providing you the link which will help you increase the system's performance:
Syd: http://h10025.www1.hp.com/ewfrf/wc/genericDocument?docname=c00816938&cc=us&dlc=en&lc=en&jumpid=reg_R1002_USEN
Syd: Please do not click on the link. Instead Copy and paste the entire link onto the address bar of your browser and press Enter.

Parking Lot

I love the term parking lot and I often try to sneak it into my conversations in class. The term means to sideline someones train of thought or suggestion because it's really not on topic but it's something to remember.

"Don't make me parking lot you!" Yes, I say this and yes it's only funny to me.

Twitter Bio's

Collection of Twitter Bio's. To be updated as I find them.


@cecilgene

• Bio Full frontal nerdity

@BobbiDigital

• Bio All Dork, all day

@jkantarek

• Bio me =((nerd && geek)||engineer && !(dork||freak||spaz) && is(>> normal))

Twitter Bio's

I think I'm going to start posting Twitter bio's that are funny in a programming/nerdy way. I've seen several that use code to describe themselves.

Unfortunately I can't remember who has these cool bio's, I guess I'll have to post them as I find them.

I will leave you with this one, no code, just like it.

@BobbiDigital

• Bio All Dork, all day